There is this troubling strain in the lessons for these couple of weeks.
From Jeremiah - "to pluck up and pull down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant" - four destructive words and only two creating;
to Luke last week "they got up, drove him (Jesus) out of the town";
to Malachi (last week was also the Presentation of Infant Jesus in the Temple) - "he is like a refiner's fire and fuller's soap";
to Simeon's words in the temple - "This child is destined for the falling and the rising of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be opposed." And (to Mary) "a sword will pierce your own soul";
to Isaiah - "Woe is me, I am a man of unclean lips and here I am right next to God"
(I love what Frederick Buechner does with this passage - "and the Mystery Itself said "Who will it be?" and with charred lips he (Isaiah) said "Me," and Mystery said, "Go."
Mystery said "Go give the deaf Hell till you're blue in the face and go show the blind Heaven till you drop in your tracks because they'd rather eat ground glass than swallow the bitter pill that puts roses in the cheeks and a gleam in the eye. Go do it."
Isaiah said "Do it till when?"
Mystery said, "Till Hell freezes over."
Mystery said, "Do it till the cows come home."
And that is what a prophet does for a living and....Isaiah went and did it.)
And finally Peter (back to Luke again) - "Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man." (I always picture that happening on the shore, but in Luke apparently they are all still in the boat with Peter kneeling, falling down before Jesus in this boat full of fish!)
So -
Amazing God,
we settle ourselves into prayer in your presence
with a certain caution, trepidation,
and maybe even fear and trembling.
Or if we don't, perhaps we should.
There is much still in our lives that needs to be plucked up and pulled down
if we are to be your pleasant planting.
We listen as if we understood, we cast our nets and catch nothing.
How wonderful then, that reversing the expected (natural? normal?) order,
you plant your words of love and grace in our lives still full of weeds and stones and emptiness.
After the rush of wind and words, help me hear the still small voice of kindness and respect;
help me hear and see and say, "Here am I - send me."